365 Days of Fear: Days 15 and 16

Well here I am again trying to catch up on posts in one day. Do I feel a trend coming on? Yesterday was quite eventful, so I will use that as my excuse to make myself feel better for posting that day’s fear a day late.

Day 15

I spent the end of my touring break sleeping. And most of the time “accidentally” sleeping 12 hours a night. And it was awesome. Yesterday I woke up much later than I meant to and got ready to go downhill skiing with my dad. It was beautiful out and the skiing was great (until the ski club kids showed up, I definitely don’t miss those days). Once I was thoroughly frozen and tired we left and headed home.

These days it seems like I either have days where I do nothing or days where I do everything. Yesterday was one of those days. As soon as I got home from skiing I was heading out to meet up with my best friend, Katy. Don’t get me wrong I was ecstatic to see her–it had been way too long (like three days is too long for us, but this time it had been a whole month!!!).

To be honest, I’m an awkward person after being away from someone for a long time. So I was scared, in a way, to see my best friend of more than 5 years. And I faced that fear head on, because I would have been absolutely insane to miss an opportunity to spend time with one of my favorite people.

And, dang, am I glad I decided to go against all the anxiety I felt about how awkward I would be upon seeing her again because it was one of the best nights of touring break. And I can’t wait to see her again!

Day 16

Today I got to go back to college! And to be honest, there were some reservations about going back. I had some depressive and anxious tendencies come back the last time I was at college and I was scared that those feelings would come back.

But once I stepped foot on campus again (and got to see my cousins and aunt at my best friend’s basketball game) I felt like I was home. I have often questioned my college decision. I have had a lot of “what ifs”.

What if I went to a big state school instead of a small private one?

What if I chose a college with more people I knew?

What if I had chosen to go out of state?

All of these scenarios regularly ran through my head–until now. Coming back to campus for spring semester has shown me that I definitely chose the right place to spend the next three years now (only three now holy cannoli).

16 days down, 349 to go!

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